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King Alvin
King Alvin is a song that was played after "The Chipmunk Song" segment in "The Alvin Show". It is mostly based on Weird Al Yankovic's "Skipper Dan". Summary In this Weezer-inspired song, Alvin Seville, while pretending to be a king, is convinced that he wanted to be a superstar sensation. When five villagers who work at a chocolate bunny factory refuse to worship Alvin, apparently, the King's servants, Simon and Theodore, give up when Alvin learns the truth on why he became king instead of being a celebrity thanks to some angry French soldiers! Lyrics *Simon (Pa Grape): Good people of Pompous People and Liberty Lame, we thank you all for coming to this place! *Theodore (Mr. Lunt): Ladies and gentlemen, put your hands together for the king who has ants in his pants.... *David Seville (Bob the Tomato): ALVIN!!!! *Alvin (Larry the Cucumber): Thank you, thank you very much, kind people. You know me right? I starred in every middle school play, blew every drama teacher away. Graduated first in my class at Julliard. Took every acting workshop I could, and I dreamed of Hollywood, while I read my Uta Hagen and studied the Bard. Hit the boards and paid my dues, and got phenomenal rave reviews. I knew the world was gonna love me, without a doubt! I was sure that The Groovy Brothers would be calling me on my phone, Mirabelle, Katrina and Sabrina would shoot me for The VeggieTones, but the years have come and gone, and I'm sorry to say that's not the way that it's all worked out! I'm a king ruling two kingdoms, King Alvin is the name. And I'm doing 38 shows every day, and every time it's the same! Look at those camels, they're wiggling their tails, just like they've done for the last 60 years, now I'm laughing at my own jokes, but I'm crying inside, because I'm ruling two kingdoms. Everyone must now bow and worship me! *(Everyone bows down except Petunia, Laura, Madame Blueberry, Percy Pea and Khalil) *David Seville: You called, Your Highness? *Petunia: No, not yet! *David Seville: My mistake. *Alvin: Oh servant! *David Seville: You called, Your Highness? *Alvin: There are five people still standing, and they're not bowing down. *David Seville: I think so. Maybe they're stuck. *Alvin: Hey, I said, bow down! Oh, well... Oh the critics they used to say, "I was the new Olivier." Thought I'd be the toast of Sundance, or maybe Cannes. Ah, but don't bother trying to IMDb me, the only place you might possibly see me is ruling two fighting kingdoms. It ain't exactly what I planned but I'm a king ruling two kingdoms, King Alvin is the name. And I'm doing 38 shows every day, and every time it's the same! I would've killed if I'd been in "Go a Plow", but what's the difference? That's all behind me now, 'cause I'm paying the rent and I'm swallowing my pride and I'm ruling two kingdoms. So tell me, why aren't you bowing down? *Percy Pea: Well you see sir, we make chocolate bunnies at Liberty Lame's finest chocolate factory. *Theodore: Oh boy, I love chocolate! *Petunia: Agreed. Alvin, we love you. *Laura: But we don't like you. Not more than anything else. *Madame Blueberry: You've been taught how to be wise, and Alvin, you are definitely not God! *Khalil: That seems true. You know what I think? Refusing to worship kings must run very deep in his family. *Alvin: What? You refuse to worship me? By the way, all five of you are fired effective immediately. *Petunia: But we don't work for you! *Alvin: And take your love for confectionery sweets with you! *Khalil: Okay. (He, Laura, Petunia, Madame Blueberry and Percy Pea all leave) Larry, you should know better than to goof off so that you can become king. *Guard 1 (Jean-Claude): The caterpillar's right. The pickle thinks he's king when he's not even a king yet! *Alvin: I'm a cucumber! *David Seville: Alvin, we got some disobedient worshipers! They always know whom they love the most. People of Liberty Lame and Pompous People; ready the pranks! All of them! *Alvin: Dave's right. French Peas, you're never gonna lead me to my unfortunate death! *(Everyone stops bowing down) *Guard 2 (Phillipe): Silly pickle, you can't be king because it's a big responsibility than what you wanted! You're only a young chipmunk! *Villager: My kids looked up to you! I even have a King Alvin plush toy! With sound chip. *King Alvin Plush: I love my duck more than anything else. The important person in the world is me! *Jean-Claude and Phillipe: Tear both the chipmunk "king" and his human friend, the tomato apart! *Alvin: I should be there on Broadway, knocking them dead in "12 Angry Hens". But instead I'm here telling these lame jokes again and again and again and again and again and again and again! *Simon: Oh yeah. That'll work. He's good. *Theodore: The king can do whatever he wants! He's the King. And don't come back! *Alvin: What have I done with my life? I should've listened when my grandmother said: *Miss Minchin: Why don't you major in business instead? *Alvin: Now my hopes have all vanished and my dreams have all died, and I'll probably work forever as a king ruling two kingdoms, King Alvin is the name. And I'm doing 38 shows every day, and every time it's the same! Look at those camels, they're wiggling their tails, somebody shoot me because I'm bored to tears. Always said I'd be famous, I guess that I lied, 'cause I'm ruling two kingdoms. I'm still ruling two kingdoms! *Jean-Claude: Okay boys, let them have it! *(Simon and Theodore throw water balloons at several guards, while Alvin gets hit with a blueberry pie.) *Alvin: Mmm, delicious! *David Seville: Well, have fun being leader of some wise chipmunks. *Alvin: Really guys? You gave up praying to me so that the prank war would end like this? Now that's just silly! Trivia *The original concept for the song was where Simon and Theodore round up every person in order to find Dave Seville a new king. *Aside from the feel of being a spoof on a Weird Al song, this song shares a few connections towards the climax of "The King of the Means": **The king commanding people in two different kingdoms to bow down before him. **The king gets angry with a bunch of people so he had to fire them from the factory they work at. **Angry soldiers throw war weapons at the king and his servants. **The leader of that army throws a pie at the king. Category:Song Lyrics Category:Songs